Went through the ages in the same position in the same condition a small crack in the edge of the glass in the lips of the glass his lips are now absolutely forgotten no reason to cry I spilled the milk she said you spilled the milk he said no reason to cry let’s see what’s next said someone else and so the story goes for the moment for the memory oblivion truth aletheia never to lie never to lay always to lay always lazy forever to lay next to you she said never he said fine. Summer winter summer winter same position. Go.
She is looking for a reason for a reasonable explanation but finds nothing she is looking deep inside the rabbithole but when she falls in there is no wonderland there is nothing but void a loud void darker than the night, that’s how a crush must be she thinks like a crash like a spoilt child crying craving demanding all or nothing and all or nothing. Never to ask, never to wait, fall into your own hole. Funny. He is not there.
Neither the music nor the drinks, no sleep no food nothing. Transparent shadows all over an empty house an empty body with no more blood no more blood no wine no bread no miracle just tears inside teared apart inside outside no sun no snow no light no darkness nothing helps. No phone calls no letters no words any more. One of the shadows is a silence another one is a killer. It is dressed up like a clock it is hiding in the closet laughing while waiting while aging while counting its beats. Nothing helps, but you could. She said.
She keeps dreaming of a house in the middle of the fog a house made of Christmas lights he is always in the dream inside the house smoking loving reading loving drinking longing he does not call her anymore she keeps dreaming of a walk in the middle of the world a walk made of Christmas snow he is always in the dream standing smoking loving thinking loving drinking longing he does not walk he does not call her anymore. Not a number not a name no call no call at all. No Fall, just Winter. Christmas time holly frozen time.
Then he left then he left nothing behind no trace no ticket not even a note that read I will be back soon don’t be scared if you miss me don’t you dare to miss me we don’t miss a thing from now on you are my only love my lonely love you are my Miss Forever Apart but apart from that he did nothing really nothing he just left he walked straight ahead and left and left nothing behind no trace no ticket not even a note no glance no promise no promise no rules we ‘ve said all that before. You can inhale now. He said.
Especially when things go wrong go right go left especially then when all is done is said that is done is here is near is closer to close too close too open then a heart shaped desire flies all over the city turns into a wheel something like a wheel but light everything is bright is colorful everything is said is done is dead is gone silence. For this fog all over above the heads underneath the feet into the shoes into the clothes into the bodies inside deeper deeper in this moment when everyone swallows fog greedily they want more than more they want more they want it all just for themselves and for no one else for all alone all of them alone with themselves all of them all white within. Frozen. I missed you. He says.
There is a way out of all this find it find it find it he keeps repeating to himself show me show me show me more she keeps begging him for a sign her body aches his head aches together they make a perfect human like a human should be full of pain not half not half past nothing is like it used to be no more love words no more short breaths breathe ins breathe outs no more I want you and nothing more nothing as before come on come on and play with me I am your toy your forever toy no phone calls no messages no sleepless nights just a toy. Please. Play. Now. Play. She says.
He left without even a glance without a single look behind he kept singing that Frank Sinatra song like a spell like a haunted note a haunted score no score not any more nobody won nobody lost just her; she is lost inside him cannot find an exit there has to be an exit try try try nothing she is lost in the crowd in the world no turns no returns no turnovers. He enters her shell she enters his hell nobody won nobody lost nothing. Try a bit harder. He says. Try a beat harder. She says.
Meaning that there are more than two days they are left over there on the table but nobody is eating nobody is hungry for the moment here comes a man dressed up like a lie an innocent but terrible trick like the ones you can easily meet on Tuesdays hanging out with women in blue dresses all of them with no faces in the center of the city later in the center of the Earth. Christmas on the front door no bell rings nobody will open, Santa is not coming Santa is dead they are all dead. Someone killed them after their death for the second time for the last time the last minute I will once catch a last minute just one and I will give it to you, I will give it to you as a Christmas present if Christmas comes if Santa does not, I cannot imagine a more useful thing in the world on the Earth in the center of this city. Than. A. Last. Minute.
Stay where you are, says the man dressed up like a lie, or I’ll kill myself. He does so. He does so. He does so. Door bell rings. Once.
He ‘s still in the frame he still stands still not much going on not much at all; something like forever keeps whistling while a woman is singing Nevermind it’s ok Hey Hey Hey Hates her for her song hates himself when he climbs over the rooftop with a stone instead of a tie tied in his neck a stone in his chest he stands still he still loves her everything; then life stops for a second he stares at the sky the clouds run higher and higher till they disappear the sky is empty now empty without her. He thinks. Nothing above now the singing woman now decides to kill now all the dead NOW she shouts then she shoots on the graves and sings Nevermind it’s ok Hey Hey Hey.
You just have to follow the line he says to himself he says so he thinks so but then BANG; Look at all these changes happened around look what happened to the world the sky is missing look at me craving for you He said Come and dine with me tomorrow She heard Come and die with me tomorrow; she leaves now she leaves him all alone somewhere outside of this world somewhere inside the frame with no sky at all not at all nothing but her. Emergency. Exit.